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Growing up

It’s sad when you grow up. I can’t quite remember the exact moment I did, but when it hits you, feelings of helplessness, knowledge, enlightenment, all come rushing to you in one gasp of cold air.  You realize that the people you idolized might not be perfect, you realize that the things you desired seem childish and minute, and everything you ever thought was worth thinking about seems insignificant.  You look ahead in your future and see a slow, steady march towards your own mortality. You don’t exactly know when you’ll die or how, but you know in one instant you’re not immortal.  This is growing up.

God, what a hopeless man right? Why is this guy still around? Why is he still slogging through the motions, getting his hair cut, going to work, doing the menial crap that “normal, happy” people do?

In one fell swoop, your innocence may be lost, and you gain a darker understanding of the world, but at the same time, a wonderful knowledge and perspective slaps you in the face.  There is a beautiful woman in the world for you, there is the wonderful miracle of life, there is an incredible amount of knowledge and we’re all contributing!  You can make the world a better place! In the small pin prick of time that your life is in the grand scheme of things, you could make something of that time and send ripples through the future even when you’re long gone.

There are things that men and women have done that everyone talks about and will talk about forever until the end of time. Great thinkers, terrible fascists, murderers, artists, athletes - all are contributing to life in their own way, as horrible as some of their ways may be.

I just hope, in my lifetime, I can contribute something.  It doesn’t have to be major, although I wouldn’t mind to be famous for something everlasting, but I realize there are 6 billion people in the world all vying for that slice of the pie.  You have to be truly remarkable to put your foot in that door and I hope I live up to my expectations.